


Kisses and Promises

by julien (julie)



Category: due South
Genre: Episode: s01e05 Pizzas and Promises, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1996-01-01
Updated: 1996-01-01
Packaged: 2020-09-26 05:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20384413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/julien
Summary: Fraser's learning to go with his instincts, which naturally enough leads to him kissing Ray.





	Kisses and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** This piece is kind of set at the end of the episode PIZZAS AND PROMISES, during which (at least twice) my friend and I found ourselves pleading to Fraser (in relation to Ray), _Oh, just kiss him…_ Afterwards we began speculating what, in the context of the series, would have happened next if Fraser had listened to us. Consequently, this rips off a lot of the DUE SOUTH dialogue that my friend and I loved best. 
> 
> **First published:** 1 January 1996 in my zine Pure Maple Syrup

# Kisses and Promises 

♦

Fraser had a hold of Ray by the shoulders. It was late, the atmosphere had been fraught with danger and drama, they were alone in the dark night amidst rows of used cars. Ray was looking particularly appealing. Benton Fraser pulled Ray close, and kissed him on the mouth.

Good to do this at last, to taste the rich flavours, the food he ate and the toothpaste he used, good to taste all the complexities and honesties and attitudes of Ray Vecchio. It helped that the man opened his mouth – either in shock or to protest – though Ray apparently regretted the move. Reluctance and surprise rather than co-operation, though it was good. Oh, it was very good.

Fraser let the man’s mouth go, let his shoulders go as soon as Fraser was sure Ray had his balance.

Ray’s hand went to his own lips, touched them wonderingly, rubbed at them angrily. ‘What the hell did you do that for?’

It wasn’t quite the reaction Fraser had expected, though now he thought of it, he hadn’t really prepared for this moment. ‘I had a hunch,’ he explained.

‘A hunch that I might want you to do that?’ Ray asked with great incredulous amazement.

‘I’m learning to trust in my instincts, Ray.’

‘Well, stop learning. It’s not working. You don’t _have_ instincts or hunches or lucky guesses or anything.’

‘But I’m learning it from you.’

_‘Me?’_ Ray sounded horrified. ‘I don’t have hunches like that.’

‘Well, Ray,’ Fraser said, casting about him for a further argument, ‘it felt like a reasonable idea at the time. I know you like me.’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘No,’ Ray repeated firmly, ‘I don’t.’

‘Oh dear,’ Fraser said contritely. Then he reminded the man, ‘But you’re my best friend.’

‘Yeah. And you’re handsome. But I promise you that doesn’t mean I want to kiss you.’

‘Oh…’ Fraser said, thinking about this. He held up his hands, palms out. ‘My mistake. I’m sorry, Ray.’

_‘You’re_ sorry,’ the man muttered, eyebrows lifting.

‘Yes, there’s no need for you to apologise.’ 

Ray stared at him. _‘Me_ apologise?’

‘Really, there’s no need.’

‘Just where do you get off?’ the cop asked angrily.

Unfamiliar with the phrase, unless it related to a destination reached via public transport which didn’t seem likely in this context, Fraser said, ‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You have such a hide. Where do you get off doing that to me?’ Ray thought for a moment. ‘Actually, I’d also like to know where you get off. I never figured you as queer, Benny.’

‘What is queer, Ray?’

‘Hell, it sure ain’t a Chicago thing.’

Fraser let the man think some more, then said, ‘So you didn’t like it.’

‘Well, I didn’t say that exactly.’ Reluctant, innate honesty. Then a return of the belligerence: ‘How many people _have_ you kissed like that?’

‘Very few.’ Fraser nodded, considering this. ‘Too few.’

‘How many _men_?’

Fraser took a breath, and then closed his mouth. He feared he was blushing.

‘I’m just trying to understand this, Benny.’ 

‘Ah,’ Fraser said weakly, ‘I’m learning to act on instinct, and you’re learning to analyse.’

‘I want to know what made you do that. Then I can make sure you don’t have any reason to do it again.’

‘If you don’t want me to kiss you, Ray, I promise I will endeavour to restrain myself from now on.’

Ray cast an exasperated glance at heaven. ‘Just help me understand, Fraser. Is this like – you’re always tasting things and smelling things. Is that it? You were curious, and you wanted to taste me.’

‘You tasted good, Ray. I’ve never kissed an Italian before.’

The cop stared at him, bemused.

‘You’re right,’ Fraser continued; ‘I wanted to experience you.’

‘Oh God.’

‘Yes. God made lips for kissing, Ray.’ He almost had the man – Ray was watching him, considering. Reluctant but fascinated. Fraser began, ‘I knew an Inuit warrior once who –’

‘No, enough already with the Inuit stories!’ Ray suddenly looked crafty. ‘Hey, what advice did your father give you on the topic? I bet it was something like, if you ever get the urge to kiss another man – don’t! Walk away. Get over it.’

‘Well, actually, Ray, he never spoke to me about this specifically… However, he did help me to refine my sense of taste so acutely that I could tell a cranberry from a huckleberry at a very early age.’

But then – ‘Oh _God!’_ Absolute disgust. ‘Yuck! I know what’s been in that mouth of yours. Mud one minute, fingernail parings the next. You put horse meat on your nose, you sniff dog piddle… And then you kiss me. I need some mouthwash, I need to brush and floss my teeth…’

Fraser frowned. ‘I assure you that I’m very conscious of proper oral hygiene, Ray. You really have nothing to fear.’

‘Yuck, yuck, yuck.’

The man had turned away, muttering to himself, miming his utter distaste. Fraser’s thoughts scrambled for a moment, but then he had it. ‘I am sorry, Ray,’ he repeated. ‘We’ll say no more about any of this.’ Fraser used his most resolute voice. ‘It’s not important how I feel for you, please don’t let it worry you. Just go on with your life and our friendship as if I have no feelings.’ He nodded in satisfaction. ‘Yes, for all intents and purposes, I have no feelings.’

At least Ray was looking at him again. A long moment of silence. _‘What?’_ the man said at last. ‘Oh, I hate myself for asking. What kind of feelings?’

Fraser looked innocent, firm. ‘It doesn’t matter, Ray. Pay it no mind.’

‘Are we talking sex feelings?’ The cop gestured, both hands pleading. ‘Romantic feelings? Friend feelings?’ And then he frowned. ‘Partner feelings? You think Huey and Louie do this?’

‘No, I don’t.’ Fraser paused. ‘Though I really have no idea. They might, and that would be entirely their own business.’

‘Oh, _please_,’ Ray said, disgusted again.

‘You have to admit that Detective Huey is a fine looking man.’

Ray glared at him. ‘What kind of feelings, Benny?’ he demanded. ‘What kind of feelings do you have for me?’

‘Well, all of the above, Ray. Sensual, physical, emotional, loving, friendship, partnership. But I don’t want that to concern you.’

‘Loving?’

‘Yes. I love you, Ray. But I promise that, as best I can, I’ll ensure no harm comes to you because of it.’

‘Oh God,’ the man muttered. Another moment of confused consideration. ‘So, have you been thinking about this? Or was it a spur of the moment kind of thing?’

‘Both. It was an impulse to kiss you now, but I have been thinking about it for quite some while.’ Fraser cleared his throat. ‘Perhaps I should confess that I almost kissed you back by the river. You were sitting on the bonnet of your car, wrapped in a blanket. You looked particularly appealing, Ray, as you often do. However, I felt it would be inappropriate to kiss you for the first time in Francesca’s presence, not to mention insensitive to her feelings.’

Ray sighed, ran a hand back through his hair. ‘So let me recap. You’d just saved me from drowning. You were heroic, I was alive, you wanted to kiss me. You’ve been thinking about it for a while. You have all kinds of feelings for me.’

Fraser thought about this. It appeared Ray had a good grasp of the situation. He nodded. ‘Yes.’

Another long moment. Ray was looking at Fraser, frowning a little, perhaps worried. Chewing at his lower lip. Speculating. Interested. He muttered, ‘This is crazy.’

‘Yes,’ Fraser whispered.

‘Ah, Benny.’ At last Ray lifted his hands, grabbed Fraser by the shoulders, pulled him close. And Ray kissed him. It was good. It was very good.

♦


End file.
